Mitch Hedberg

(1968-2005)

I'm tired of following my dreams, so I'm just gonna ask 'em where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

1997 Nissan Sentra GXE Blues

On the old 280Z I had, you could change the oil in like five minutes. Everything was clearly seen and easily reached. Of course, it's catastrophic engine problems meant oil changes were bi-weekly, but I try not to think about things like that when Iget all nostalgic. So anyway, it's tune-up time for the 20-years-newer Sentra, and things aren't going as smoothly. I just discovered that the oil filter of my new(ish) car is located somewhere that would be somewhat difficult to reach if I had one of those professional hoist thingies they raise the whole car with. Needless to say, it will be an adventure to change with a plain ol' jack. Stupid sideways engines. Also, I've apparently lost my filter wrench, and the oil pan I spent eight bucks on yesterday (when I probably could have just borrowed one from my brother) has a hole in it. It's propped up on a crappy old towel, so the oil runs toward the unholy side. Oh yeah, I didn't mention that I figured this all out AFTER I drained all the oil out of my car. So I can't go exchange the pan or get a wrench or anything like that.

From now on, I'm paying other people to change my fucking oil.

And oh yeah, I need to buy a new, smaller spark plug socket.

Inspirational Song o' the Day

Michael McDonald - "The Eyes of a Child"

The Eyes of a Child, so innocent and pure
A Child's heart is full of song
Take their tiny hands,
And lead them to the light
As Adults we see the pain in the world,
And sometimes it don't seem right.

But through the Eyes of a Child
The World seems magical
There's a sparkle in their eyes,
They've yet to realise,
The darkness in their soul.

..the Beauty of their smile
Adventurous and wild.
Life is kinda gay,
but it doesn't seem that way,
Through the Eyes of a Child.

So, don't give up
Even when the road seems long
Just find that child inside you
You've got to find you.
Spread your wings and fly, to the brightest star
If ya want, I can even get my friend Steve to detail your car
for about twenty bucks.

Through the Eyes of a Child
The World seems magical
There's a sparkle in their eyes,
They've yet to realise,
The darkness in their soul.

The Beauty of their smile,
Adventurous and wild.
Sure, life is kinda gay,
but it doesn't seem that way,
Through the Eyes of a Child.

Got an eye on my hand!
I've got an eye on my hand!
I've got an eye on my hand!
But still i cant find you!
An eye on my hand!
Where have you gone girl?
An eye on my hand!
I'm coming up behind you.
Eye on my hand!
Don't turn around now,
Cause I'm right there,
I'm coming up behind you!

Through the Eyes of a Child
The World seems magical
There's a sparkle in their eyes,
We've yet to realise,
The bastards they really are!

The Beauty of their smile,
Adventurous and wild.
Sure, life is kinda gay,
But it doesn't seem that way,
Through the Eyes of a Child.
Sure, life is kinda gay,
but it doesn't seem that way,
Through the Eyes of a Child.

I'd just like to say...

...To everyone who's hopped on this new trendy hairstyle of combing your hair straight forward or down, to intentionally make yourself look stupid, your haircut is bad, and you should feel bad. Thank you.

Hot blooded, check it and see

I got a fever of 101.4. Fucking A. I hate you all, and want to punch you in the lungs, so you too can feel what it's like to not be able to breathe. Jerks.