Current Status

Trying to get motivated to box up stuff and load up the car, lamenting the fact that all available recordings of Bill Cosby, George Carlin, and Jerry Clower are in a box somewhere at the other apartment, and making the five-minute drive over there to grab one would be counter-productive. Life is hard. Maybe that Richard Pryor tape is still here.

The Cuervo Gold. The Fine Columbian. The Missile Defense Strategy.

Here's a weird one for you. Apparently, Jeff "Skunk" Baxter, formerly of Steely Dan and Moody Blues fame, is now some sort of anti-terrorism / missile-defense superfreak.

"We thought turntables were for playing records until rappers began to use them as instruments, and we thought airplanes were for carrying passengers until terrorists realized they could be used as missiles," says Mr. Baxter, who sports a ponytail and handlebar mustache. "My big thing is to look at existing technologies and try to see other ways they can be used, which happens in music all the time and happens to be what terrorists are incredibly good at."

Someday, I'm going to write an action movie. Maybe not any time soon, but someday. And someone like this is either going to be the hero or the villain. Holy crap.

Good news, bad news.

The good: I'm moving out of this shithole soon.
The bad: That means I'll be without internet, cable, phone, and other fineries for a while, and until then, I'm still in a stinky pit where there's no hot water and the bedroom can also double as a swimming pool.

Song of the Day

Blood for Blood - "Hangin' on the Corner"

Oh my sweet, sweet Jesus Christ
Another Saturday night
And I'm hangin once again
on my private little corner of hell
Little Mikey C. Just O.D'd
In the alley just a block away
Him and my little brother used to play
I watched the ambulance take him away
His mom's gonna take it hard
cause his dad just got locked away
for 3 ta 5
For a deal he felt he had to make
for his family to survive

I know the world can be so cold
I know the world is so cold

(I been) Hangin' on the corner
Hey hey hey !
I got nothing to do
And I got nothing to lose
Hangin, hangin' on the corner
Wasting away.
Another wasted night
Another bottle of booze, Alright!

And I know that no one cares:
I can see it in your empty stares
when I tell you these tales of woe
I tell you these tales of woe
because we really care.

I know the world can be so cold
I know the world is so cold

Hangin' on the corner
Hey hey hey !
I got nothing to do
And I got nothing to lose
Hangin, hangin' on the corner
Wasting away.
Another wasted night
Another bottle of booze, Alright!

Down past Hayes Square
is where the wealthy dine
where they laugh and drink fine wine
Well, two blocks over
is where the Sergeant died
in a hall of fire ( here we go ! )
on a warm summer's night
All you forgotten in the projects
I hear Ya'.
All you numbers in the cell block:
We care.
All you sweatin' in the detox:
We care.
To all you hoods that are dodgin' cops:
We care.
And to all you bleeding
from a broken heart
You know you've got a brother here.

Hangin' on the corner
Hey hey hey !
I got nothing to do
And I got nothing to lose
Hangin, hangin' on the corner
Wasting away.
Another wasted night
Another bottle of booze, Alright!

Hangin' in the corner.
Hey hey hey !
I got nothing to lose and I got nothing
ro prove to you.
Hangin', hangin on the corner, wasting away.
I pray my luck will change one day.
Some day.

Random quote from yesterday

"Don't blow it out your butt, or it'll burn."

Another one down.

1972-2005

Well, if this isn't just an absolute fucking bummer, nothing is. First, the guy's a big time star wrestler with the WWF, ECW, and WCW, then the drugs every wrestler on Earth was on at he time finally caught up with him, (and his wife) and he pretty much hit rock bottom. Then, things finally start going right for the guy. Chris and Tammy get clean, Chris catches on with TNA, starts doing good, and it's the total fairytale comeback story. Then, at the pay per view this weekend, he breaks his fucking leg. Well, okay, minor setback, right? He gets surgery to fix everything, and does the whole wheelchair-bound manager thing at the Tv tapings Tuesday, and everything's cool. Then, a few hours ago, the guy just dropped dead. Apparently, it was a blood clot from the surgery.
33 years old. The world pisses me off sometimes.

Yeah.

Call me crazy, but I don't feel very confident in a financial institution that also apparently makes pizza.

Finally...

I swear, I think that I had Iron Maiden's "The Prisoner" stuck in my head for like two friggin' weeks. But finally, FINALLY, I've managed to get something else stuck in there. I mean, it's a good song and all, but there's only so much you can take of something stuck in your head like that. It's like you're fucking trapped. Like I was a prisoner of "The Prisoner", or something. But now everything's cool. Because now, I'm not a prisoner; I'm a free man, and my blood is m- FUCK.

Sam Mills

1959-2005

SON OF SONG O THE DAY

Joe Esposito - "You're the Best"

Try to be best
‘Cause you’re only a man
And a man’s gotta learn to take it

Try to believe
Though the going gets rough
That you gotta hang tough to make it

History repeats itself
Try and you’ll succeed

Never doubt that you’re the one
And you can have your dreams!

You’re the best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
You’re the Best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
You’re the Best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you dow-ow-ow-ow-own

Fight ‘til the end
Cause your life will depend
On the strength that you have inside you

Ah you gotta be proud
starin’ out in the cloud
When the odds in the game defy you

Try your best to win them all
and one day time will tell
when you’re the one that’s standing there
you’ll reach the final bell!

You’re the best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
You’re the Best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
You’re the Best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you dow-ow-ow-ho-how-ho-own

INSPIRING GUITAR SOLO

You’re the best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
You’re the Best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
You’re the Best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you dow-ow-ow-ow-own

Fight ‘til you drop
never stop
can’t give up
Til you reach the top (FIGHT!)
you’re the best in town (FIGHT!)
Listen to that sound
A little bit of all you got
Can never bring you down

You’re the best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
You’re the Best!
Around!

repeat to fade, occasional background shouts of “Oh Ye-eah!”

Mitch Hedberg

(1968-2005)

I'm tired of following my dreams, so I'm just gonna ask 'em where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

1997 Nissan Sentra GXE Blues

On the old 280Z I had, you could change the oil in like five minutes. Everything was clearly seen and easily reached. Of course, it's catastrophic engine problems meant oil changes were bi-weekly, but I try not to think about things like that when Iget all nostalgic. So anyway, it's tune-up time for the 20-years-newer Sentra, and things aren't going as smoothly. I just discovered that the oil filter of my new(ish) car is located somewhere that would be somewhat difficult to reach if I had one of those professional hoist thingies they raise the whole car with. Needless to say, it will be an adventure to change with a plain ol' jack. Stupid sideways engines. Also, I've apparently lost my filter wrench, and the oil pan I spent eight bucks on yesterday (when I probably could have just borrowed one from my brother) has a hole in it. It's propped up on a crappy old towel, so the oil runs toward the unholy side. Oh yeah, I didn't mention that I figured this all out AFTER I drained all the oil out of my car. So I can't go exchange the pan or get a wrench or anything like that.

From now on, I'm paying other people to change my fucking oil.

And oh yeah, I need to buy a new, smaller spark plug socket.

Inspirational Song o' the Day

Michael McDonald - "The Eyes of a Child"

The Eyes of a Child, so innocent and pure
A Child's heart is full of song
Take their tiny hands,
And lead them to the light
As Adults we see the pain in the world,
And sometimes it don't seem right.

But through the Eyes of a Child
The World seems magical
There's a sparkle in their eyes,
They've yet to realise,
The darkness in their soul.

..the Beauty of their smile
Adventurous and wild.
Life is kinda gay,
but it doesn't seem that way,
Through the Eyes of a Child.

So, don't give up
Even when the road seems long
Just find that child inside you
You've got to find you.
Spread your wings and fly, to the brightest star
If ya want, I can even get my friend Steve to detail your car
for about twenty bucks.

Through the Eyes of a Child
The World seems magical
There's a sparkle in their eyes,
They've yet to realise,
The darkness in their soul.

The Beauty of their smile,
Adventurous and wild.
Sure, life is kinda gay,
but it doesn't seem that way,
Through the Eyes of a Child.

Got an eye on my hand!
I've got an eye on my hand!
I've got an eye on my hand!
But still i cant find you!
An eye on my hand!
Where have you gone girl?
An eye on my hand!
I'm coming up behind you.
Eye on my hand!
Don't turn around now,
Cause I'm right there,
I'm coming up behind you!

Through the Eyes of a Child
The World seems magical
There's a sparkle in their eyes,
We've yet to realise,
The bastards they really are!

The Beauty of their smile,
Adventurous and wild.
Sure, life is kinda gay,
But it doesn't seem that way,
Through the Eyes of a Child.
Sure, life is kinda gay,
but it doesn't seem that way,
Through the Eyes of a Child.

I'd just like to say...

...To everyone who's hopped on this new trendy hairstyle of combing your hair straight forward or down, to intentionally make yourself look stupid, your haircut is bad, and you should feel bad. Thank you.

Hot blooded, check it and see

I got a fever of 101.4. Fucking A. I hate you all, and want to punch you in the lungs, so you too can feel what it's like to not be able to breathe. Jerks.

SONG OF THE DAY: RELOADED

Turbonegro - "A Dazzling Display of Talent"

Oh my what a dazzling display
Oh my what a dazzling display
Of talent that's what they say
Would you believe it
My goodness HEY

Take a look around
I'm so impressed
Of everything they do
Do it again and again alright
I can't believe my eyes
It's unbelievable
In the middle of the show
They make the fluids flow
Take it away

Du geile Sau

Oh my what a dazzling display
Oh my what a dazzling display
Of assholes that's what I say
Would you believe it
My goodness HEY

Look around
Oh so impressed
Of all the things they do
Do it again and again alright
I can't believe my eyes
It's unbelievable
Give me what I know
Make the fluids flow
That's what I know
Come on, let's go
And make the fluids flow

Can you smell it ?
It's stinking yellow

Oi Oi Oi

I'm so impressed ... TALENT!

CASH MONEY

Got my Oklahoma state income tax rebate back today. Look at it and weep, bitches:

Yeah, that four whole dollars, you poor bastards. American dollars. I am now officially Rick James, bitch.

THIS STUFF'S MADE IN NEW YORK CITY!

NEW YORK CITY!?

SIZZLE OF THE DIZZLE (song of the day, whitey)

Dick Delicious and the Tasty Testicles - "Masturbating for a Brighter Tomorrow"

What do you do if you want to prevent a rape?
You go down to the store, you rent yourself a porno tape
What do you do if you want to prevent AIDS?
You whack upon your dick, you smack upon your ding-a-long
Till it needs Band-Aids

And you'll be masturbating for a brighter tomorrow
and it will free the world from disease and sorrow
as long as you've got your dick in your hand
you've got your best friend (oh oh)
And you'll always know who will be there in the end

What do you do if you want to stop HIV?
You leave the whore at the bar, and whack your way to safety
And what do you do, if you don't want to knock that ho up?
(C'mon you guys, i know you know this one)
And how do you keep from waking up
Next to some ugly slut?

And you'll be masturbating for a brighter tomorrow
and it will free the world from disease and sorrow
as long as you've got your dick in your hand
you've got your best friend (oh oh)
And you'll always know who will be there in the end

I sit eating tacos some times
Thinking it all might end (oh no)
As long as you've got your gland in your hand
You've got your best friend

Back on Track

Slowly but surely, things are getting back to some version of normal. After four months of non-payment while I was living with hell-roommate, I finally had enough excess dough to pay $160-something in past-due student loans. And after Thursday, I can plop down the same amount and finally get caught up. So instead of blowing all my money supporting a burned-out fake lesbian, now, I'm blowing all my money paying for a year at Ole Miss in 1998, where I learned absolutely nothing that I can recall at this time.

Good times.