LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Officials detained an Iraqi man during a security scare at Los Angeles International airport on Tuesday but said a suspicious object found in a body cavity search did not pose a threat.So... A dude from the Middle East has suspicious looking wires on him and a magnet up his ass. Could be a terrorist; could just be a guy who really, reeeally loves magnets. But just to be on the safe side, you detain him. Okay, sounds like a solid plan. After all, the guy could have made a bomb with something... Something with other bomb parts... That were in his luggage... His luggage... That's still on the fucking plane.
The man, identified by law enforcement officials as Fadhel al-Maliki, 35, was detained at passenger screening at the airport just before 6 a.m. on Tuesday morning.
The bomb squad was called as a precaution and authorities said they found wires in his clothing and a magnet inside a lower body cavity.
The man was preparing to board a US Airways flight to Philadelphia. The flight left without the passenger but with his luggage aboard. It made an unscheduled landing in Las Vegas where the plane was thoroughly searched but nothing was found.
There's a lesson to be learned here, and that lesson is that if you want to explode a bunch of people in L.A., just pop a random suspicious object up your poo-hole, and you won't have to actually be on the plane when your fat sack of bombs you smuggled on there goes off.
