You want a war?

You got it, motherfuckers.

Me about ten seconds ago:

"Oh man. Another roach."

*squats down to get a closer look*

"Nope. Giant spider. AAAAARRRRGGGHHHHH"

On a positive note, maybe the giant spider will eat some roaches.

For real, though,

I have cleaned and cleansed every surface in this apartment, I have thrown away every scrap of garbage, and I have scooped the cat box. I have coated the entire apartment in a thin layer of boric acid, and covered that thin layer of boric acid in another, thinner layer of deadly poison. And it does nothing. Nothiiiiiiiiiing.

I know what I must do now.

I have to burn the building down.

I GOT ROACHES IN THE CABINETS,

roaches in the air, roaches inside the walls, roaches, roaches, roaches!! If I beat them off the walls they're sill in the air, if I shoot them out of the air they're still in the cabinets, so where does that leave me? Nowhere! That's where!

AAAARRRRGGGHHHHHH

Well, my annoying, possible meth-addict upstairs neighbors finally moved out/got evicted, and that's a good thing. Also, the new landlord has been doing hella home improvements to this place lately, (soon, I will have VINYL SIDING~!) which is also good. But you see, whatever he did to the empty apartment upstairs seems to have involved cleaning the shit out of it, because all their roaches have decided to move downstairs. In with me. AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHINEEDMOREBORICACIDANDBENGALROACHSPRAY.

I have roaches.

So many roaches. Roaches in the bathroom. Spray does not kill them. Boric acid will kill them. I will go to buy boric acid now, to kill them. The roaches.

Fuck.