Current status

Went to the gym last night - Back down to 210, which is pretty good, considering I've been eating nothing but crap lately. Also, on the bench machine thingy, got 255 up five times, and started feeling all huge. Then, I looked across the room and saw some dude doing many more reps of 315, and suddenly felt much less huge. And I'm not sure what's been going on in Norman, Oklahoma, but on the way home, the freaking ghetto bird was flying around. Huh.

This morning, a random neighbor showed up asking to borrow my plunger. It really sucked, because my plunger broke the other day, and that's totally something you tell a guy when you just don't want to deal with him, rather than actually having a broken plunger. I need to get a new plunger-head tomorrow.

Also, realizing that my stupid football card addiction was costing too much money, I've decided to stop buying so much stuff and start trading with other addicts online. So far, I've done two, getting a pretty cool Muhsin Muhammad for a relatively equally cool Vince Young a couple months ago, and tomorrow, I'm mailing off a package of stuff that includes such luminaries as Brodrick Bunkley and Brandon Lloyd to a dude trying to put together a set who's supposed to be sending me three $8 Walter Paytons and a $10 Brian Urlacher in exchange. Pretty nice. The Moose-for-Young trade was probably a pretty dumb move, book-value wise, since the Vince can go nowhere but up and the Moose can go nowhere but down, but hey, I traded a Vince Young card that there are probably thousands of with a little piece of a jersey that wasn't used in an actual game for a Muhsin Muhamad serial numbered out of fifty with a piece of an actual game-used jersey that's as big as my head. Works for me.

Also, here is this:

I trust in heaven, and I'm already there, motherfucker

Cracked.com: The Seven Most Insane Moments From Cable Access TV

This is today's version of the greatest thing I've ever seen, in case you've got about an hour to kill. Discover the horrors of rogue helicopter pilots, the worst Janet Jackson cover possible, a guy calling you a bitch for not loving Jesus, and a guy who combines jogging, painting, and making blended drinks, like I'm sure we've all done before. I still haven't watched #1 yet, though, partially because it's thirty minutes long, and partially because I'm not mentally, emotionally, or spiritually prepared to face such a task.

I remember the days when Cracked was just a retarded, unfunny version of Mad Magazine for ten year olds, and it's weird to see them being a thousand times better than Mad at this point.

HE'S COMING FOR YOU

MORE FREE INTERNET CRAP

Free Movies Fallen Out of Copyright

This site should fill all of your requirements for cheesy old sci-fi flicks, weird educational films, and bullshit documentaries about how George Bush and/or the Jews are going to kill us all with evil oily sex powers.

Highlights so far include:
Plan 9 From Outer Space - Ed Wood's unintentionally hilarious classic.
Reefer Madness - AHHH DEVIL WEED
Gayniggers From Outer Space - No comment necessary.
Powers of Ten - Like the neatest math-based documentary that I was ever forced to watch in school.
The Secret History of Hacking - The history of when hacking was real shit instead of just preteens downloading scripts, from Captain Crunch to Kevin Mitnick.
Duck and Cover - "Always remember: The flash of an atomic bomb can come any time, no matter where you may be." Oh, we're FUCKED.
Thank You, Mask Man - Cartoon version of the old Lenny Bruce routine about what a ungrateful homo the Lone Ranger is.

Check it out yourself. Lots of neat crap here.