Current status

Went to the gym last night - Back down to 210, which is pretty good, considering I've been eating nothing but crap lately. Also, on the bench machine thingy, got 255 up five times, and started feeling all huge. Then, I looked across the room and saw some dude doing many more reps of 315, and suddenly felt much less huge. And I'm not sure what's been going on in Norman, Oklahoma, but on the way home, the freaking ghetto bird was flying around. Huh.

This morning, a random neighbor showed up asking to borrow my plunger. It really sucked, because my plunger broke the other day, and that's totally something you tell a guy when you just don't want to deal with him, rather than actually having a broken plunger. I need to get a new plunger-head tomorrow.

Also, realizing that my stupid football card addiction was costing too much money, I've decided to stop buying so much stuff and start trading with other addicts online. So far, I've done two, getting a pretty cool Muhsin Muhammad for a relatively equally cool Vince Young a couple months ago, and tomorrow, I'm mailing off a package of stuff that includes such luminaries as Brodrick Bunkley and Brandon Lloyd to a dude trying to put together a set who's supposed to be sending me three $8 Walter Paytons and a $10 Brian Urlacher in exchange. Pretty nice. The Moose-for-Young trade was probably a pretty dumb move, book-value wise, since the Vince can go nowhere but up and the Moose can go nowhere but down, but hey, I traded a Vince Young card that there are probably thousands of with a little piece of a jersey that wasn't used in an actual game for a Muhsin Muhamad serial numbered out of fifty with a piece of an actual game-used jersey that's as big as my head. Works for me.

Also, here is this:

How can this be?

Okay. For most of the last month, my knee was all screwed up. It still is, but just not as bad. This meant I couldn't go to the gym or do any physical activity that meant moving fast. Also, I was really broke. Like catastrophically broke, so my eating habits changed to whatever was cheap and/or on sale. So my diet consisted mainly of bologna and powder/pasta based food for the first time in a while. So I remained completely motionless for a month, while shoveling bullshit down my mouth. And yesterday, I finally make it back to the gym, and when I weighed myself, totally prepared for the horror... I had lost eight pounds.

What.

I might be dying

Over the last month, I haven't gone to the gym, and I've been hella munching on ribs and pizzas and Taco Bells and junk and stuff, and somehow through all of this, I've lost like six pounds.

TAPEWORMS ARE EATING ME.

DEADLY DISASTER

I gained back like four pounds.

Stupid Mississippi.

Today Was a Good Day

I found out I'm below 220 pounds for the first time since the 8th grade, ate a steak, watched Over the Top, and got a message board post replied to by Scott "Flash" Norton. Plus, nobody I know got killed in South Central L.A.

Before and After

Me in February: 293 lbs.

Me now: 221.

I am awesome.

FAT SALE?

So here's the deal. I'm like 60 pounds lighter than I was earlier in the year, and I can't wear XXL shirts anymore. So if there's any lardos out there who want any of this stuff, drop a comment or something, and maybe something can be worked out, be it through money being exchanged or some sort of trade of other crap. I'm not saying all of this is definitely for sale; I'm just kind of throwing this out there to see if there's any interest. Here's the stuff I can think of off the top of my head, and there might be more:
- An assortment of plain t-shirts. Some new, some old, a couple ringers, maybe a solid color or two. Think I paid like 5 bucks apiece for most of this stuff.
- One Mastodon T-shirt. The "In Search of / Est. 2000" Bigfoot design. Worn a few times, but still pretty good shape. (I think I got it in like January)
- One Anthrax T-shirt. State of Euphoria album cover. Not really worn that much. Almost new. (Got it the same time as the Mastodon shirt.)
- One Marcus Robinson Chicago Bears home replica jersey. Fit huge even when I was still huge, so keep that in mind. Also, it's only been worn maybe five times (because it was too big for me) and cost like $75 when it was new, so if you want this, it's gonna cost you.

Well?

Well, it's official

February: 293 lbs.
This morning: 233 lbs.

At this pace, I might not be a fatass in a few more months.

another reason to love blood mountain

Joined a gym today, and put in about an hour and a half on various devices designed to simulate walking and other stuff you do with your legs, but without actually taking you anywhere. And they had little TVs set up on all of them, which was pretty cool, as I don't have cable right now, (and for the record, every time there's a new episode of The Venture Bros. on, you'll find me at the gym now) but after a while, nothing was on, and it got tiresome. So I turned on my newly-acquired, two-year-old MP3 player, freshly stocked with my own MP3 files, including a ton from the new Mastodon album, Blood Mountain. And every time one came on, I had to reset the machine to make it go up a steep incline every time one of those songs would come on, because holy crap, it felt like I was going up a goddamn Blood Mountain. Seriously. It had its drawbacks, however, as when I finally stepped off after a whole hour on the eliptical thingy, I almost fell on my ass in front of a bunch of people, because those machines make your legs stop working. Stupid Mastodon.

Also, note to self: Put "Eye of the Tiger," "The Touch," and some manner of Chris Benoit entrance theme on your MP3 player.