Later, dude.

"Tonight is my last night in WWE, I am going back home to Japan. Thank you WWE for 5 years, thank you WWE, thank you ECW, thank you fans, thank you goodbye."
On one hand, this sucks, because Tajiri never got used as well as he should have been, and on top of leaving the WWE, he might be leaving wrestling altogether. On the other hand, it is pretty refreshing to see a guy leave the business on his own terms and with his health and his life in general intact. Because as New Jack put it, "That's the fun part about it. You die, or you get old, and you're retarded, and you're broke," and that's apparently not going to be the case here.
Anyway, if you are retiring, thanks for entertaining me over the years by making Steve Corino bleed like a stuck pig and telling Booker T that he looked "like Buckwheat on crack."

Define Irony:

Having some of the juice from a cough drop that's melting in my mouth go down the wrong pipe, resulting in a coughing fit.

You know...

I'm watching the Dimebag Darrell tribute episode of Headbanger's Ball right now, and Zakk Wylde's Darrell tribute song, "In This River" (I think that's what it was called) just came on. And I know it's the thought that counts and all, but god damn, someone needs to tell Zakk Wylde to never sing a song in public, ever again. Jesus Christ, that was horrible.

Also, drunken calls from your mom at midnight where she rambles on for twenty minutes, mostly saying the same stuff over and over and telling me she wants grandchildren really, really suck.

Winter Wonderland. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Maybe I should go make some sort of slush-man.