I'm better than you

Because I have a Neal Anderson rookie.

I Solve Crimes

So earlier today, someone posted this story at a message board I frequent. Basically, this dude raped somebody, and the cops released the composite sketch to the local news media type places, so people know who to look out for. And in case you were wondering, here's the sketch:

An impeccable likeness, I'm sure. Thing is, I got to looking at this picture, and something dawned on me: I've seen this guy somewhere before. But where? Then, while staring blankly at a wall and thinking about cartoons, which is what I usually do all day, the answer came to me:

The rapist is none other than Rusty Cuyler of "Squidbillies" fame. Case closed.

My name is Lucas. I solve crimes.

In other news...

Bill Introduced to make sex toys illegal in South Carolina.

If you outlaw dildos, only outlaws will have dildos.

Song of Thy Day

Vaginal Discharge - "Meth Lab Trailer Park"

So we bought the stuff and we headed home,
We're gonna make a lotta dough
Just crank out meth from our bath tub,
Won't have to work no more

And none of the neighbors gonna turn us in,
'Cause they're doin' just the same
So come on down and buy a bag,
And we'll be glad you came
Said we'll be glad you came

And the air smells bad, and the dogs are barking loud
But we've got satellite TV with stereo surround
Brand new carpet and furniture, all you see around
And it's always a party after dark in the meth lab trailer park
Said it's always a party after dark in the meth lab trailer park

Well, I've been up for four straight days,
And things are lookin' weird
No, I can't get a wink of sleep,
Though I drank about sixty beers
My head is startin' to hurt again,
Think I'll do another line
There goes my nose, it's bleedin' again,
But man, I'm feelin' fine
Said MAN, I'm feelin' fine!

And the air smells bad, and the dogs are barking loud
But we've got satellite DVD with THX surround
Brand new carpet and furniture, all you see around
And it's always a party after dark in the meth lab trailer park
Said it's always a party after dark in the meth lab trailer park

My plan

Someday, I'm going to become famous. Not sure how, but I will. And I'm going to totally become one of the cool kind of celebrities that everyone wants to be like. Like when I wear something, other people are going to wear it. And I'm totally going to bring back striped socks. That is my plan.

Messing around with some stuff.

Yup.

HAPPY EASTER

YOU FUCKS