I just realized

That this is becoming some sort of personal injury blog. This is not a good thing.

From bad to worse

Bad: Screwing up my knee somehow, in such a manner that I've been having to wear one of those cheapo $14 knee brace things at work to keep from twisting it and have been putting ice on it and generously applying globs of generic Wal~Mart brand Ben-Gay stuff to it.

Worse: Getting said generic Ben-Gay stuff IN MY EYE. Seriously, this reminds me of the bit from that Cheech & Chong album where Chong is all talking about the dude poking himself in the eye with a coke spoon and having his eye "frozen open." It's like smelling salts for the eye.

AAAHHHHHH I CAN SEE FOREVER

my body is at war with itself

I was just headed to take a shower, since I'm a weirdo who doesn't take showers at a decent hour, and on the way there, something on the floor just sliced the hell out of my toe. Like there's a flap of skin and it was actually dripping blood, and when I set my foot down in the shower, it was like a miniature recreation of the big red splash from when Tony Montana gets shotgunned and falls into the fountain. I'm pretty sure it's bad enough that any right-thinking person might consider getting stitches, but DAMMIT, I'M A MAN, so I just hit it with peroxide and band aids. But oh yeah, what was the sharp object laying in the floor that devastated my toe? A fucking fingernail clipping.

My fingers hate my toes.

Holy crap, Rambo IV

Oh man. For the record, you might not want to start the video if you're at work or something, because HOLY SHITTING FUCKBURGERS, THAT IS THE MOST VIOLENT CRAP I'VE EVER SEEN. This is going to be the best movie anyone's ever made, but I'm starting to wonder if they'll have to cut some stuff out to avoid an NC-17 rating.

After Rocky Balboa and seeing this, I kind of want Stallone to just resurrect every movie he was ever in during the 1980s to make a sequel. If Over the Top II ever happened, it would be so awesome that it could possibly end people's lives.

I'm not sure why I own a cinderblock

But I am very skilled at bumping into it and tearing my kneecap open.

oh word?

The Bears are moving Devin Hester to offense.

What the crap

There's actually a town called Knockemstiff, Ohio.