You want a war?

You got it, motherfuckers.

PATRIOTS LOL

How did any of those other stupid teams ever lose to these dorks?

RANDOM SHIT: Let's talk about dinosaurs.

"There's no way to shorten Deinonychus into something as sleek, sexy, and marketable as "raptor." Seriously, could you see anyone going to a basketball game played by the Toronto Nychuses?"

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BEARS POST-SEASON POST-MORTEM - PT. 2 - OFFSEASON MOVES

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BEARS POST-SEASON POST-MORTEM - INTRO

Well, the football season is over now. What? There's still the playoffs left? Are you kidding me? Playoffs!? Child's play for fools is what that is. That's nothing but some middle-aged pill-freak and Peyton Manning's retarded brother competing to be the one that will fight against all odds to maybe come within ten points of respectability against a team coached by a homeless guy and quarterbacked by a man who carries a purse. That's not what football is about. Football is about pain, suffering, hopelessness, and wondering why the hell you spent seventy bucks on a shirt with tiny little holes in it. Football is about expressing impotent rage against millionaires who will never know your name. Football is about completely over analyzing things, but to such an extent that you can't feel superior to those stupid goddamn nerd baseball fans, who keep up with who has the most left-handed home runs on a cloudy day in September off a certain pitcher when his hat is crooked. Football is about despairing over what went wrong and holding on to hope that it can be fixed, even though you know deep down in your soul that they'll just resign Rex Grossman. That's what football is about.

Especially Bears football.

For this is a team that's gone twenty-two years without a championship and roughly fifty-eight years without a real franchise quarterback, and a team that's looking damn near ready for a complete blow-up and rebuild just one year separated from a Super Bowl appearance. And with all this bitterness and bile built up, it's time to take a long look at just what went wrong in 2007. And Unlike the Preseasonseasonpreview thing, I'll probably actually finish this one, because there's a looooong way to go before actual football happens again.
Stupid Bears. Stupid life.

Coming up first: THE OFFSEASON MOVES~

I am not satisfied until I have the world's strongest title again!

And this shall be my plane

Don't think of it as losing a pair of pants

Think of it as gaining a pair of shorts~



Also, here is a cat.

Sarting the new year off right

I just had a dream where someone told me that Thomas Jones had decided to retire, causing me to actually go, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO," like Darth Vader.