The Beginning of Fall

It is truly a new season when I notice that my popsicles are thawing out, and I have to punch the back wall of the fridge a few times to break up the thawed/refrozen ice, and then knee the door real hard to get the compressor to kick back on.

Tub Cat

be stealin' my bucket.

Stupid iTunes 8.0

Look at this thing. LOOK AT THIS THING.

First, the boring, "List View" - that I never had to use before - with Windows Task Manager open for resource-viewing purposes:

Here's a closeup of the memory usage (click to enlarge, for best results - Stupid narrow blog layout):

A little over 72 megabytes of RAM being used. Kinda large, but nothing out of the ordinary, in today's world of giant-ass computers.

Now, here's the thing. "Cover Flow" view, which is the easiest way to get around, and the way I always did things before, is basically broken in the new version. Here's what I've been able to use my powers of deductive reasoning to figure out: The way it works now, every album cover you scroll past goes into your computer's memory and stays there as long as iTunes is open. Even if it's long since scrolled off the screen. And these are big files, too. Sure, they only show up as little pictures at the top of the screen, but clicking on the "Now Playing" thumbnail that comes up usually reveals them to be massive, taking up a good chunk of the screen. And if you've downloaded legally purchased as much music as I have and put it all on your computer, that's a ton of album cover images. A "fucking shit-ton," as some scholars would say. And there are a lot of people out there whose stuff absolutely dwarfs my own. I know this because they're the people I ended up downloading stuff from comparing online music collections with. Anyway, a shit-ton of giant images uses up a shit-ton of memory. How much? Take a look:


Wait, what?


You are not reading that wrong. One billion, three-hundred forty-two million, eight hundred and forty thousand bytes of memory being used by one program. OVER ONE POINT THREE GIGS OF RAM IS BEING USED, PEOPLE. JESUS. Hell, the last computer I had before this one couldn't even be upgraded to hold that much, and it's not like iTunes is some intense, professionals-only program, so it's not out of the question for computers of that scope to be trying to run this monstrosity. And note that I had only scrolled up to the letter S by this point, meaning that it might even hit 2 gigs if I went all the way to the letter Z. So it's no more visible album covers in the navigation for me until they fix that crap.

It's just too bad that Windows Media Player and WinAmp both blow dicks, or I'd switch back to one of those.

So the new Metallica album leaked

...And it's like St. Anger with Reload's production. It's like taking a huge dump and then peeing in the pile. But the songs are all eight minutes and have fast parts, so I'm sure everyone will be saying those turds are "back" now.

They should have just quit years ago.

Updates regarding websitery

• As you may have noticed, stuff looks different around here. I'm still working on changing things around, which means that this place is more than likely going to look exactly the same for like eight more years.
• Scheduling being the way it is, I'm now back up to one day a week with nothing to do but lay around being idle and worthless. So updates might happen more than one a year eventually. I'm actually thinking of doing some sort of once-a-week update schedule, which isn't likely to actually happen, because I'm lazy.
• When I do update things, it's going to be a lot less of a Chicago Bears only blog. Mainly because I got recruited to go clog up someone else's blog with that sort of thing. I'm "LB" on there, and it's a pretty major coincidence that those are my initials. Huh.
• I was going to do one of those "check out my fish tank" posts, but I'm pretty sure I killed the one really cool plant in the 2-gallon betta tank today, so I'm all pissed and not in the mood to take pictures of my failures. Here's an old picture of Picasso, though:
  
  I'll get pictures of Larry, Darrell, Darrell #2, and Algae Crumpler in the ten-gallon up here someday.
• I'm seriously going to finish that "Ten Things I'm Going to Make Illegal" thing someday. Actually typed about half of a second entry. Someday.
• After recently viewing the entire Maniac Cop trilogy, I'm in the mood to bring back the Discount Rack Video Review. Or maybe just erase the entire site and replace it with a video clip of the scene from Maniac Cop 3 where Maniac Cop manages to take part in an entire car chase while completely on fire.
• I just noticed that my text and link colors are too close for anyone to be able to tell the difference. Since I'm not in the mood to fix that right now, I'm just making links larger.
  

Sweet Mother of Crap

Chad Johnson has legally changed his last name to Ocho Cinco.

Dear ESPN...

Hey guys. Look, I know you guys all love Brett Favre. You looked the other way when he kept waffling over retirement for the last decade or so, you shrugged off all his 288 interceptions as being the result of a bad route by the receiver, you mentioned him at any opportunity during games that didn't even peripherally involve the Green Bay Packers, and I'm willing to guess that if he requested such a thing, you would all slaughter your own mothers in Brett Favre's name and follow it up by picking the dingleberries from his ass hair with your teeth, just to praise the glory of Favre. That's cool, though. You're sports media people, and that sort of thing is in your blood.

But now, there's this whole damn "Titletown USA" thing.

Look, I hate to say this, being a Chicago Bears fan and all, but just because the Packers are having such a nasty breakup with your boy, (editor's note: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha) it doesn't mean you get to reassign the goddamn name "Titletown USA." Green Bay, Wisconsin is, was, has been, and always will be Titletown USA. They came up with the fucking term. It's even on the official city seal:What's next? Are you going to reassign "The Windy City" to New Orleans because of the damn hurricane? Is Chelan, Washington going to be the new "Big Apple," on account of their delicious apples? And seriously, Valdosta? What? What do they have? A Wal-Mart? You're seriously giving it to them based on high school football? Where you can be guaranteed at least seven wins by scheduling all the local division negative-five-A schools where the offensive tackles weigh 127 pounds and the home field is mostly dead grass and dirt? And a Division II college team? Shit. All wining titles against seminaries and dental schools. Hell, I could beat Valdosta State. Just get me a baseball bat and a reason. It's like they picked the lowliest goddamn place in the competition, just to fully express how butthurt they were at the Packers or something. Seriously, ESPN, this whole thing was a farce.




The Packers still suck, though.

The air in my apartment...

It is in such a condition right now.

The joys of vehicle maintenance

You know what this is? It's my old fuel filter, from my car.

You know what that little red spot on it is?

Why, it's the same thing that's on this screw driver...

Just behind my driver's side headlight...

And here, on my bumper.

It's my old HUMAN BLOOD, from my BODY.

Meanwhile, here's the real bummer:

Ouch. Oh well.

Represent.

Oh man, I'm on Ebay

I decided I'd like to buy some stupid shit sometime soon, and to eliminate the practical impact such purchases would have, I'll sell some of my previous stupid shit. Most of it is going to consist of football cards that will sell at heart-breakingly low prices, but I decided to start things off with the big daddy of them all, which probably won't sell at all.

But here you go. And yes, I do feel like such a hack for that "A must-have for any true fan!" crap.

It's that crazy-rare Metallica CD I retardedly found for $8 at Hastings a while back, and if it goes for my outrageous asking price, (which is actually about the same as what I've seen it go for at auction in the past) I'll be really close to my $110 goal, which is what I'm assuming autographed cards of Devin Hester and Brian Urlacher will cost. But hey, if I'm gonna chase the dragon, I might as well not dip into my paycheck to do it. The Urlacher/Hester Autograph Ebay Telethon has begun~

UPDATE: Oh snap. SOLD. Now, hopefully the payment/shipping types things will go smoothly. Stupid forgetting about international folks.

Tub Cat

Is fooling no one.

Crate Cat.

Is in a crate.

MY FINGERS!

Five movies I've watched lately

Well, gotta update this thing somehow...

1. There Will Be Blood (2007)

You've probably heard of this one, seeing as it was like one of the hugest movies lately. Anyway, Daniel Day Lewis turns in the greatest performance of his or anyone else's career as an old-school oil baron, with the movie chronicling his story from rags to riches and from eccentirc, ruthless ambition to batshit, slap-fucking-craziness. I can see why this one won a bunch of awards, but seriously, it could have used some editing here and there. Scenes that could have wrapped up in one minute take five, and I swear, I think the first twenty minutes of the movie didn't have a single spoken word. But there are enough high points to make this a good movie that drags in places, as opposed to a three-hour shitfest, and it probably has the greatest ending scene of any movie ever. I won't spoil it for you, but if you've watched television, been around people who sometimes watch movies, or have the internet (safe assumption there), chances are pretty good that it's already been spoiled. Seriously, I think the only reason I sat through The Thin Red Line a long time ago was in the faint hope that it would have an ending like that. Overall, this was worth the time, I suppose.

2. Still Crazy (1998)

This is one my special ladyfriend picked out, based mainly on Billy Connelly being prominently featured on the cover, and the fact that Billy Connelly is awesome. Anyway, it's a movie about a British rock band from the 70s trying to wage a comeback, and everything seemed to indicate that it was going to be some crazy-ass Spinal Tap sorta thing, with good times had by all. In reality, it was like a half-assed drama with Tap-esque moments here and there, but not enough to keep it from just sort of plodding along, being generally uninteresting most of the time. And it had some problems, like the ending not exactly being everything it should have been, (Like instead of the happy ending where everyone gets redeemed, one particular character just sort of goes out like a little bullshit man) and the big romantic subplot of the movie just gets suddenly dropped with no resolution or even further mention, like a World Championship Wrestling storyline from 2001. Also, Billy Connelly is a background character at best. The movie should have just been 90 minutes of him doing zany shit. All movies should be that. But yeah, could have lived without seeing this one.

3. Reefer Madness (1936)

Oh man. Here's what I learned from this movie:

• If you smoke weed, you will be popular, and chicks will want to bone you.
• Everyone in the 1930s could not only play the piano, but they could all also play it at a virtuoso level.
  
• Weed is a narcotic more powerful, deadly, and addictive than cocaine or heroin.
• Weed will make you drive at breakneck speeds as high as 45 miles an hour, run over old dudes in cold blood, and not give a fuck.
• If you smoke "marihuana," you will go immediately and permanently insane enough to club a dude to death with cast-iron fireplace implements.
• It's really fun to say the word "education" like "ed-JOO-KAY-shun," all proper-like.
• Weed will make you carve up entire families and jump out of windows.
  
• Prim, proper people of the 1930s shunned marijauna, drank tea, played tennis, and SMOKED LIKE CHIMNEYS.

Best movie ever.

4. RAMBO (2008)

Rambo. Maaaaaaaan. Rambo. Holy crap, Rambo. Raaaaambooooooo. This is the kind of movie that never gets made anymore, because Hollywood no longer understands us. Somewhere along the line, someone saw how good Full Metal Jacket and Platoon were, and figured that from now on, every movie about a war needed to be like that. You know, the whole "hey guys, sometimes we need to stop and think that the 'good guys' sometimes might really be the bad guys, and that what we think are the 'bad guys' are really the good guys after all, and how we need to rethink our whole philosophy, and blah blah blah think blah, really makes you think" line of bullshit. If we wanted to think and be reminded of how horrible we are by association to war-related things, we'd stay home and watch the news. Sometimes, when you see a movie with someone getting their war on, you don't want to be lectured to or preached at. You want your good guys to be badasses and your bad guys to unspeakably evil and not worthy of any real sympathy, and just there as someone to be slaughtered by the good guys in the name of righteousness. The result of a movie like this is something called "fun," and an actual escape from all the things people go to movies to actually, you know... escape from. This is why Lions for Lambs bombed and Rambo destroyed a whole city block with its awesomeness. But anyway, enough half-retarded OPINIONZ 4 U, and on to the actual movie.
Some dudes are evil, and Rambo and his crack team of mercenaries destroy their entire being. That's all you need to know. That's all anyone ever needs to know. Rambo shoots people in the face with arrows, rips their throats out, slices their guts out, and basically machineguns one dude into liquid. Motion pictures were invented in the hope that a movie like this could one day be made.

5. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)

Without getting into things too much, because I'm sick of typing, don't listen to all the stunted man-children who tell you this movie is not rad. Indiana Jones gets in crazy situations and wisecracks his way out of them. Snakes become involved. Adventures beyond your wildest imagination are had. There are ancient tombs with traps in them. Indy fights a big ol' dude who dies horribly. And the kid from Transformers somehow doesn't screw the movie up. This movie is, in fact, rad. Hella-rad, I might even go so far as to say. So there.

2008 Chicago Bears Season Preview

NORMAN BUBBLE~

I still curse Rex Grossman, though.

God is coming to kill me again

With my last breath, I curse Rex Grossman.

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, PEOPLE

You scan the item.
Then, a screen comes up telling you to put it in the bag.
Then, you put it in the bag.
Then, you scan another item, and the process repeats itself.

YOU DO NOT SCAN THE ITEM, HOLD IT LOOKING DUMBFOUNDED WHILE THE SCREEN TELLING YOU TO PUT IT IN THE BAG SHOWS UP, WAIT FOR IT TO GO AWAY, GIVE UP AND PRESS "SKIP BAGGING," THEN PUT IT IN THE BAG, WHICH LOCKS THE MACHINE UP AND MAKES A CASHIER HAVE TO COME AND BAIL YOU OUT. YOU ALSO DO NOT DO THIS WITH EVERY SINGLE THING YOU SCAN.

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, PEOPLE

In lieu of an update, here's the SONG OF THE DAY

Dethklok - "Duncan Hills Coffee Jingle"



Do You Folks Like Coffee?
Real Coffee,
From the Hills Of Colombia?

The Duncan Hills awake you
From A Thousand Deaths.
A Cup Of blackened Blood.
(Die, Die)
You're Dying For A Cup.

Guatemala Blend,
Ethiopian,
French Vanilla Roast.
(Die, Die)
You're Dying For A Cup.

Prepare For Ultimate Flavor!
You're Gonna Get Some... now
And Scream... For Your Cream

Duncan Hills,
Duncan Hills,
Duncan Hills Coffee.

Tub Cat

Is possessed by the devil.