Ever notice...

Sometimes, I get bored and go to chatrooms. And in particular, I've noticed that heavy metal chatrooms are filled to capacity with dumbasses. No surprise there. But I've also noticed that these dumbasses will always do the same crap. Come in, yell something stupid, then start typing out song lyrics, like that's going to let us know they're truly cool, or something like that. And the lyrics are almost always either completely wrong, horribly misspelled, or both. And always in all capital letters. And it's always one of the same three or four bands: Metallica, Pantera, or occasionally Slipknot. Example:

Some dumbass: WISKY WEED AND METTALICA FUCK YEAH!!!!!!
Me: Aw hell.
Some dumbass: NEVER THREE NEVER ME SO I DONE THE UNFORGIVEN YEAH

And it's always the same, just like that. You never see one of these winners spitting out lyrics of someone like, say, Voivod:

Dumbass: NO ONE HERE NOWS REAL METAL! PASS THE WEED MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!
Me: Jesus, here we go again...
Dumbass: HERE YOU ARE, YOU'RE WITH ME, PROTECTING ALL MY CREW, I CARVED YOU FROM A TREE, MY VISION IS YOU
Me: Holy crap!

Yeah. I'm typing about weird crap. Maybe the fever is corrupting my brain or something.

And again

This morning, I woke up and all was well. My body didn't ache, I wasn't coughing, and my body temperature had lowered to a brisk 98.6 degrees. Then, when I got to work, my nose started running, which is something that it didn't do for the last couple days. So I blew my nose. And blew my nose. And blew my nose. And the pressure built in my sinuses. And everything started to hurt. And the world around me seemed to get colder and colder. I was sick in a way completely unrelated to how I was sick for the last couple days, and ended up going home an hour and a half early, which is something an iron-man like me would never do. Now, I'm back over the 101 degree mark and absolutely miserable. So, in an attempt to ease my misery, I strolled to the kitchen to get some ice cream. As I pulled it out of the freezer, it slipped, and in an ill-fated attempt to keep it off the floor, I ended up slamming the ice cream into my left ball at a high rate of speed.
The world can French-kiss my ass.

Song of the Goddamn Day.

Peggy Lee - "Fever"

Never know how much I love you, never know how much I care
When you put your arms around me, I get a fever that's so hard to bear
You give me fever - when you kiss me, fever when you hold me tight
Fever - in the the morning, fever all through the night

Sun lights up the daytime, moon lights up the night
I light up when you call my name, and you know I'm gonna treat you right
You give me fever - when you kiss me, fever when you hold me tight
Fever - in the the morning, fever all through the night
Everybody's got the fever, that is something you all know
Fever isn't such a new thing, fever started long ago

Romeo loved Juliet, Juliet she felt the same
When he put his arms around her, he said "Julie baby you're my flame"
Thou givest fever, when we kisseth, fever with thy flaming youth
Fever - I'm afire, fever yea I burn forsooth

Captain Smith and Pocahontas had a very mad affair
When her Daddy tried to kill him, she said "Daddy-O don't you dare"
Give me fever - with his kisses, fever when he holds me tight
Fever - I'm his Missus, Oh daddy won't you treat him right

Now you've listened to my story, here's the point I have made:
Chicks were born to give you fever, be it Fahrenheit or Centigrade
They give you fever - when you kiss them, fever if you live and learn
Fever - till you sizzle, what a lovely way to burn
What a lovely way to burn
What a lovely way to burn
------
Currently, my fever stands at 101.4 dregrees, and you can all kiss my ass.
EDIT: 102.4 now. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

HOLY CRAP

I just got my cat to eat a tortilla.

SONG OF THE DIZZLE

Voivod - "Wrong-Way Street"

I lost my key...Where is the door?
Am I living here anymore?
My souvenirs thrown on the floor
It's never been this bad before
I went outside to get a life
But everything was closed up tight
Why should I care? Why should I run?
Now that I'm home...my guitar's gone!

I'm taking it day by day
Life goes on...oh, yeah, life goes on...

Awake at night I look outside
A burning car in the dawning light
A sorry sight...another fight
A scenery in black and white
What can I do? What can I say?
It's a hard time in a hard place

I'm taking it day by day
Life goes on...oh, yeah, life goes on...

Don't ask me if I feel alright
I'm glad that I am here tonight
Don't ask me if it's wrong or right
Remember everything is fine
Remember...Forever

It's getting worse, most everyday
But has it always been this way?
This price I have to pay today
My goddamn house is in flames
A traffic jam...commercial breaks
And politicians' big disgrace
This planet earth...it's where I live
It's where I'll die, I do believe

I'm taking it day by day
Life goes on...oh, yeah, life goes on...