So yeah, my apartment has roaches. Also, I smashed the living crap out of my left pinky toe a few weeks ago, and even though it stopped hurting after about three days, the toenail is still black from dried blood under it or whatever it is that makes your toenails turn black when you smash them.
So a minute ago, I feel something kind of brush against my foot, and I look down, immediately think "AAAARRRRGGHHHROACHONMYFOOT" and let out a sound kind of like that squeak Jerry Lawler makes when someone says something that's supposed to be shocking on an episode of Monday Night Raw, and flail my foot around madly in an attempt to try and shake the roach off, re-smashing my toe on the leg of my desk in the process.
And yeah, the "roach" was actually my toenail.
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