Oh yeah, happy Halloween.

Here is a thing for you.

God damn you, trick or treaters

For heading over to the nicer neighborhoods instead of mine and forcing me to eat this bag of peanut butter cups.

THE CHICKEN IS NOT BURNING

IT IS NOT EVEN FULLY COOKED YET.

SO WHY IS MY OVEN BELCHING SMOKE.

also, how did my smoke alarm detect the smoke a good ten minutes before there was any actual smoke

also, it is cold, so opening the window sucks.

What is the cutest thing?

It is when I get out of the shower, and the cat starts licking my ankle to dry it off.

Huh.

After a trip this morning that lasted roughly an hour and fifteen minutes, I have valid insurance cards, the ticket for not having those is dismissed, and State Farm is sending me a check for $37.

Nice.

I just saw

A license plate with "404 NAW" on it. I'd like to believe it's the vanity plate of a webmaster.

Halfway there.

Put new bulbs in for the tag light, and they actually worked, despite my fears that the jury-rigged wiring my car has (which causes my high-mount brake light to come on when I turn on my headlights and makes my front parking lights come on when I hit the brakes) would say otherwise.
So now, I have to do two things: Go get some of those temporary paper insurance cards, which should take them maybe five minutes to do. After that, I have to head to the court that's pretty much within walking distance to tell them I really am insured, and with the way those things go, it should take me somewhere between ten minutes and ten hours. Probably do the latter half of that next Monday, if there's not a holiday I've forgotten about on that day. Getting the cards I can pretty much do whenever, except I think they might close at five, so probably tomorrow.

Then, my LEGAL TROUBLES~! will be over.

I have a very boring life.

Upon further review

After looking at the citations again with the benefit of not being freaked out, the actual ticket is for (and I forgot to mention this) my insurance card being expired, and the tag light one was just a warning. So if my car doesn't respond to a new bulb, I just have to try and not have a cop car directly behind me at night, and the only pressing issue is taking a couple hours to go get State Farm to print me out one of those temporary cards and then take it to the courthouse down the street before the 29th. So basically, I'm cool.

I'm still angry at Adrian Peterson, though.

Welp.

Well, the Bears lost somewhat embarrassingly today. And after the events of the last hour or so, my hand is all burned, and if my suspicions about my ghetto-ass car are correct, I'm probably going to have to spend a few hundred bucks that I don't have and won't have for a long, long time - if ever - to get my goddamn car rewired, so that I won't get a ticket for a non-working tag light. And I have to get this done within two days.

WHY DO YOU NEED A TAG LIGHT? THE TAG IS REFLECTIVE. THE CARS BEHIND YOU AT NIGHT HAVE HEADLIGHTS ON. AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH.

So yeah, screw all y'all.

Daily stupid

Something seems wrong with my arm. There's no pain, no loss of range of motion, no stiffness, and if there's swelling, there's not enough for it to be blatantly noticeable. But something just seems WRONG with it. And only now do I realize:

I have forgotten what my right arm is supposed to look like.

CAPTAIN AMERICA

FUCK YEAH

G-R-I-E-S-E, Griese, Griese, Griese

FUCK YOU BRETT FAVRE, SUCK MY DICK

Me about ten seconds ago:

"Oh man. Another roach."

*squats down to get a closer look*

"Nope. Giant spider. AAAAARRRRGGGHHHHH"

On a positive note, maybe the giant spider will eat some roaches.

Daily stupid

So yeah, my apartment has roaches. Also, I smashed the living crap out of my left pinky toe a few weeks ago, and even though it stopped hurting after about three days, the toenail is still black from dried blood under it or whatever it is that makes your toenails turn black when you smash them.
So a minute ago, I feel something kind of brush against my foot, and I look down, immediately think "AAAARRRRGGHHHROACHONMYFOOT" and let out a sound kind of like that squeak Jerry Lawler makes when someone says something that's supposed to be shocking on an episode of Monday Night Raw, and flail my foot around madly in an attempt to try and shake the roach off, re-smashing my toe on the leg of my desk in the process.

And yeah, the "roach" was actually my toenail.