Should have posted these back when they were relevant, but there were a lot of shiny objects nearby, and well, you know how that goes.
Anyway, with the economic downturn, Santa apparently had to take on a second job as a fireman, but then things took a turn for the better when he signed a free agent contract with the 1974 New England Patriots.
Meanwhile, in other countries, they have their own special versions of Santa. In Ireland, Seamus O'Claus comes to the homes of good little boys and girls bearing gifts of golden coins, and for the naughty children, he brings severe beatings from his shamrock-laden whoopass stick. In Sub-Saharan Africa, Kwanzaa Claus has become somewhat of an outcast, shunned by a population that has realized that Kwanzaa is just some American bullshit some dude came up with in the sixties, and filled with bitterness from the much more Christmassy
Black Santa being way more popular than he is.
Anyway, I must say that all of this commercialism surrounding Christmas is horrible, we should get back to the roots of the holiday season, and we should all take this time to get right with God.
Mmm, now that's some tasty, tasty God.
Anyway, with the economic downturn, Santa apparently had to take on a second job as a fireman, but then things took a turn for the better when he signed a free agent contract with the 1974 New England Patriots.
Meanwhile, in other countries, they have their own special versions of Santa. In Ireland, Seamus O'Claus comes to the homes of good little boys and girls bearing gifts of golden coins, and for the naughty children, he brings severe beatings from his shamrock-laden whoopass stick. In Sub-Saharan Africa, Kwanzaa Claus has become somewhat of an outcast, shunned by a population that has realized that Kwanzaa is just some American bullshit some dude came up with in the sixties, and filled with bitterness from the much more Christmassy Black Santa being way more popular than he is.
Anyway, I must say that all of this commercialism surrounding Christmas is horrible, we should get back to the roots of the holiday season, and we should all take this time to get right with God.
Mmm, now that's some tasty, tasty God.
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